


Only Forever

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Best Friends, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Dancing, Dancing Lessons, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Music, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Pining, Public Display of Affection, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Slow Dancing, Steve Feels, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-22 04:09:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3714463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OR Five times Steve watched Bucky dance and the one time they danced together.<br/>The title is from one of my favorite Bing Crosby songs that will make an appearance in the last chapter.</p><p>PLEASE NOTE: Each chapter is meant to be read along with watching each video, just so there is more of a visual to go with them. I wrote each chapter with that in mind. Thanks for reading!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dance Hall Jives

**Author's Note:**

> Bucky's dance moves are inspired by this video:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xF7He0Hwd0s

Late February, 1939

　　As Steve finally let himself into the old shoe-box apartment that he shared with Bucky, he heard the telltale wheeze in his chest that told him he was coming down with some kind of a cold. He sighed as he hung up his coat, toed off his boots and walked further down the dark hallway. He had spent the last few hours helping his needy neighbors and the strain was catching up to him. Mr. Hoerner across the streets had broke his hip last week so Steve had gone out to fetch his mail for him. Old Mrs. O’Connell had bought too many jars of pickled beets again so Steve had stopped to help her carry them up the three flights of stairs to her apartment and ended up with his ears being talked off for the next half and hour. He had almost made it to his own front door when the single mother of five who had just moved in next door had rushed out in a panic. One of her bathroom pipes had sprung a leak and Steve just couldn’t leave her to fend for herself. Now he was drenched to the bone, exhausted, and on the brink of his second asthma attack this week.

　　He really should have been more careful at this time of year. The winter snow was starting to melt away on their little Brooklyn street, giving way to the grime of early spring and summer. The air turned harsh and the dirt that made him sick every year came back in full force. If Bucky were here, he would say "Of course, you just have to help every helpless person on the block before you even think to help yourself, you punk." All Steve wanted right now was to run a hot bath and curl up on the old stained couch with a blanket and his sketchbook until Bucky got home from work.  
        

* * *

  
　　Feeling refreshed and stronger, Steve stepped out of the bath and toweled himself off. He picked up his slacks from earlier that day and the shirt closest to him, which just happened to be one of Bucky’s undershirts. He slipped them both on, breathing in Bucky's scent that he loved so much, and made his way to the living room. He made himself as comfortable as possible on the couch, as it was more open springs than actual upholstery. Soon enough, he had so fully immersed himself in his sketchbook and the rhythmic scratching of pencil against paper, that he didn’t even hear the front door open a few hours later.  
　　  
　　Bucky excitedly pushed open the door to the apartment and hurriedly kicked out of his shoes. He couldn’t wait to tell Steve about the new dance hall opening down the street from them after it was finished being built last week. His words stuck in his throat as he stopped abruptly in the hallway and saw Steve curled up on the couch. His already slight frame was doubled over in concentration as he painstakingly detailed the outline of what appeared to be a man’s arm.  
　　  
　　Bucky loved watching Steve draw when he was in deep concentration. He always looked like he was finally free from all the crap that the world would throw his way. The way his brows knitted tightly together and the way his mouth formed a little “O” shape every time he hit a rough spot. Bucky couldn’t get enough of his best friend no matter how long he studied him, and study him he did.  
　　  
　　It was then that he started to recognize what Steve was actually slaving over. Steve had drawn copious amounts of incredibly lifelike muscle structures and vein pathways on what looked like a man’s arm. As best as he could manage using only charcoal, he had also attempted to make the arm tan. But Bucky could tell his own body part when he saw it.  
　　  
　　“Is... that my arm?” he asked as he moved to get a closer look.  
　　  
　　Steve jumped, apparently startled by Bucky finally announcing his presence in the room.  
　　  
　　“Uh... Its an... Ah...” Steve stammered before looking down at his hands again shyly. Bucky thought he heard a hushed whisper come out of his mouth that sounded an awful lot like “Yes”.  
　　  
　　“Anyway,” said Bucky after a long pause, deciding to change the subject. “The dance hall down the street is finally opening tonight. Do you want to go?”  
　　  
　　“Um, no. I think I‘m coming down with something.” Steve replied quickly. Bucky could always tell when he was trying to get out of doing something. He reached over and put the back of his hand to Steve’s forehead. He thought he heard Steve’s breath catch in his throat.  
　　  
　　“You don’t feel any warmer than usual. You’ll be okay for now.” He pulled his hand away and started walking into the small kitchen. “Now stop deflecting. I know you haven’t wanted to go out much lately, but its not healthy to stay cooped up in the house all the time.”  
　　  
　　“Buck, you know how I feel about all your double date ideas. Its just a waste of time.” Steve sighed, leaning back against the arm of the couch and setting his sketchbook aside.  
　　  
　　“Who said anything about a double date this time?” Bucky asked as he reentered their bare living room with an apple in his hand.  
　　  
　　Steve turned to look skeptically at Bucky. “James Buchanan Barnes, when have dames ever not been on your mind?”  
　　  
　　“You know me, Stevie, they are always on my mind. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to have one on my arm all the time. What if I want you on my arm tonight?” Bucky teased. He winked dramatically at Steve as he took a bite out of his apple, but there was something behind his smirk that Steve couldn’t quite place.  
　　  
　　“I’m not your dame, Barnes.” Steve countered. “But fine, if you insist, then I will go with you tonight, if only to watch you flirt your way around the entire room and live vicariously through your love life.”  
　　  
　　Buck chuckled at that. “I do insist. And you will not regret this. This new place is supposed to be the best in the whole city.” Bucky cheerfully replied as he skipped to his bedroom to get changed out of his dirty clothes. “You had better start getting ready. We should leave in an hour.”  
　　  
　　Steve sighed heavily again and heaved himself off his spot on the couch and shuffled to do his friends bidding. He could never refuse Bucky anything.  
　　 

* * *

  
　　Steve sat still nursing his first beer as Bucky made his rounds to see if any of the ladies wanted to dance. Of course, being the charmer he was, he had a partner every single time while Steve only had his half empty beer glass, his napkin, and the Russian bartender who didn’t speak very much English to keep him company. Bucky had been right. This place was certainly the nicest dance hall he had ever been too, but he supposed that wasn’t saying much because he didn’t get out to places like this very often.  
　　  
　　Steve took a moment to look around the room and watch all his fellow patrons. Most of them were young women looking anxiously around the room for their next partner, while the few other men in the room either watched silently or laughed obnoxiously at another’s joke. Bucky seemed to be the only male who actually came here for the dancing. He hadn’t even touched his own beer other to take a sip before he left Steve to fend for himself. He was too busy being a gentleman, and Steve couldn’t bring himself to be mad at him.  
　　  
　　God, he could never be mad at Bucky. For all his arrogance and overbearing charm, Steve saw him as he really was. Bucky was sensitive and sensible, loving and lovable, caring and careful. Steve knew that he was the only one besides Bucky’s own mother who had gotten to see this side of Bucky. The dames only saw his charm and winning smile. His coworkers at the docks only saw his pride and wit. Although Steve would never admit it, he liked knowing something about his friend that every one else didn’t. He was selfish that way, but he would never repent of that, never in a million years.  
　　  
　　The band on stage started another upbeat song and Steve turned around to face the dance-floor when he heard several exaggerated whoops and hollers. He was met with the sight of Bucky and his partner for that dance surrounded by everyone else. The girl was a short but very busty blonde who sported loose flowing curls and bold red lips. She wore a curve-hugging pink dress that came to just above her knee and twirled out around her legs every time she changed directions. It was almost as if she did it on purpose every time just for the attention. Steve rolled his eyes and chuckled. Leave it to Bucky to pick the most outrageously vain dance partners.  
　　  
　　Steve watched as they dancing for everyone, moving around each other fluidly. With every kick of their legs and sharp turn they captivated their audience. But none more than Steve. He was enraptured by the way Bucky held himself and moved his body as though it were liquid. It was only after the song had ended and Bucky and his blonde partner were being applauded that Steve realized he was staring blatantly with his jaw hanging open. A crimson flush spread across his cheeks as it always did when he found himself checking out his best friend, again.  
　　  
　　Then Bucky looked his way and it got even worse. Bucky shot him one of his trademark grins from across the room when he saw Steve watching. Little did he know what exactly that did to Steve every time it happened. Because of course it always had to happen right after Steve had to deal with his ogling-another-man problem, although more specifically, ogling-his-best-friend-who-he-had-been-in-love-with-since-they-were-twelve problem. This seemed to be happening a lot lately.  
　　  
　　Steve had to get out here, and fast. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he took a last sip of his beer and wrote a note to Bucky on the napkin with a pen that the bartender lent him.  
　　  
　　 _Don’t be worried. I’m not walking home drunk or dying. I was just getting tired. I’ll see you at home. -S_  
　　  
　　Steve put his jacket on quickly and fled out the front door. He couldn’t handle these emotions at the moment. Not when he was sure that he was coming down with a cold.


	2. What's Zumba?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Natasha's dance moves inspired by these videos:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18rEKfQsbrQ  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPug9Pof1e4

Early June, 2015

　　Steve still couldn’t believe how his life had played out. Sometimes he had to stop what he was doing altogether to gather his thoughts and refocus on his task. After seventy years in ice, three years as a man out of time, and one year chasing down every known Hydra base, he was finally with the person he loved most in all the world. Even if that person happened to have been brainwashed into submission and tortured into obedience, Steve still counted this as a win. Bucky was no longer under Hydra’s control and that was alright by Steve.  
　　

* * *

  
　　“So how did the appointment with the shrink go?” Natasha asked as she silently appeared at Bucky’s side in the Shield HQ break room. But of course Bucky had heard her coming.  
　　  
　　“It was okay, I guess.” Bucky muttered as he tried to pour coffee with one hand and hold his muffin in the other.  
　　  
　　“That doesn’t tell me anything. What did she say?” Natasha questioned. Bucky shrugged. “Did she recommend anything? Tell you to avoid anything?’  
　　  
　　“She told me to do cardio workouts.” Bucky finally responded, with a slightly confused look on his face. “Something along the lines of it helping me deal with the physical stress that is put on my body every day. I don’t really understand her line of thinking” Bucky shrugged again and went back to making his coffee.  
　　  
　　“Well I do. It means that you should join me for Zumba next week.” Natasha stated before she turned and strolled casually out of the break room again, with Bucky looking after her with an even more confused look on his face.  
　　  
　　“What’s Zumba?” he muttered under his breath.  
　　

* * *

  
　　 _Steve: Where are you? I’ve tried calling you three times already_  
  
 _Bucky: You have to pick me up from Zumba in thirty minutes_  
  
 _Steve: What’ s Zumba? Where is Zumba at? Who is with you? Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?_  
  
 _Bucky: Geez, Stevie calm down! Take a deep breath! a) Its a type of exercise. b) Its at Shield HQ, third floor. c) Natasha is with me. d) You were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you up..._  
  
 _Bucky: ...I’m sorry I scared you:(_  
　　  
　　Steve let out a long breath. Okay, Bucky was fine, there was nothing to worry about.  
　　  
　　He had woken up that morning expecting to find Bucky on the sectional with a cup of coffee staring out the window like he had grown accustomed to every morning for the past few months. But when he came back from his run with Sam and Bucky was nowhere to be found, he panicked. Honest to God, hyperventilated.  
　　  
　　Okay. He wants to be picked up in half an hour? Easy. Steve thought to himself.  
　　

* * *

  
　　Apparently the whole third floor had undergone a renovation of sorts, courtesy of Stark Industries, since Steve had last been to HQ. He couldn’t really say he liked most of them due to Tony’s eccentric interior decorating skills, but the one thing he did appreciate was the computer that told him exactly which room Bucky was in and how to get there.  
　　  
　　Steve was extremely anxious for some reason as he walked down the hallway. He really shouldn’t be. Natasha was with him so there really was nothing to worry about. He still had a feeling that today held some surprising turn of events. And as he turned the corner and heard a heavy and indistinguishable bass beat, he knew that one of those moments would be right now. He approached the large one-way glass window that allowed him to see the people inside and saw Bucky standing off to the side of the room with Natasha during a water break. As they finished and got into a line with a considerable amount of space in between them and the other agents, the woman in the front of the room switched the song to a Latin rap song with another heavy bass beat.  
　　  
　　Everyone in the room obviously knew the routine because they all moved in sync with each other and the music. Some more stunted than others but they got it done. Steve’s eyes swept the whole group until he saw Natasha. She moved with the same amount of grace that she did everything else in the field or even her day-to-day tasks.  
　　  
　　But when he watched the way Bucky moved, he wasn’t able to tear his eyes away. His best friend had always known how to work his body to his advantage, but since his time as the Winter Soldier, it seemed that he now had a added measure of control. He anticipated every move the leader was about to make and executed each cross or turn with a calculated power. There was nothing really alluring about the exercise routine, but Steve could feel the hair on the back of his neck start to stand on end.  
　　  
　　It was over too quickly as he stared enraptured, and soon another song was playing. Steve recognized the beat but couldn’t quite remember the name of the song or the artist. It had to be one of those crap pop culture songs that Clint was always trying to get him to listen to while he ran. The archer just would not back down. While the first song had been simply awe inspiring, this next song was entirely the opposite. Steve’s skin felt like it was burning when Bucky started moving his hips that way. This choreography looked like it belonged in one of those clubs that Tony was always trying to get him to go to to, “Loosen up, Capsicle!”  
　　  
　　After just the first thirty seconds of the song, Steve couldn’t take it anymore. His jeans felt too tight and he quickly set out in search of a secluded supply closet or something of that nature. Oh God, he was so screwed!


	3. Step Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's dance moves inspired by Moose's in this video:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llZpw5yeodo

July, 2015

　　Steve had just got finished with an assignment in Myanmar and had been on a plane for hours. His feet were numb, his arms felt like jello, and his eyes refused to stay open for more than a minute at a time. He stumbled through the front door to his suite in Avengers tower that he shared with Bucky and kicked off his combat boots. He dropped his bag with a thud and laid his coat on top of it. He sluggishly made his way down the hall to his room and unceremoniously flopped face down on his bed without changing out of his sweaty, four-day-old clothes. Within five minutes, he was out like a light.  
　　

* * *

  
　　Rustling in the kitchen roused Steve from his sleep. He blinked several times and stretched before looking over at the clock to his left. 11:00 in the morning. Steve sat up with a start.  
　　  
　　“Jarvis?” he asked to his empty bedroom.  
　　  
　　“Yes, Captain Rogers?” the AI responded immediately.  
　　  
　　“What day is it?... And is it really eleven in the morning?”  
　　  
　　“The current date is...” the AI started but was interrupted by Bucky entering the room.  
　　  
　　“Well look who finally decided to join the land of the living,” Bucky said as he smirked at Steve from across the room. “You walked in the door last night at 23:00 hours and, yes, it really is eleven o’clock in the morning.”  
　　  
　　“Thanks,” Steve mumbled as he stood up and stretched. He grimaced as he noticed the numerous dirt and sweat stains down the front of his shirt and moved toward the bathroom.  
　　  
　　“Yeah, take a shower! I can smell you from all the way over here,” Bucky teased a he turned and left Steve’s room. “But be quick, because I have breakfast for you and I have plans for us for the rest of the day,” Bucky yelled from the living room.  
　　  
　　Steve sighed and shook his head as he stripped to take a much needed hot shower.  
　　

* * *

  
　　After Steve had polished off the hash-browns and bacon that Bucky had cooked for him, he was hassled out the front door and into the elevator by a very excited Bucky.  
　　  
　　“Where are we going, Buck?” Steve asked as he cast him a sidelong glance. Even dressed in jeans and a plain blue t-shirt, he had a hard time trying to keep his eyes off his best friend.  
　　  
　　“Central Park. I saw these street performers out there the other day and I want to see if they are still there,” Bucky answered. “And plus, even if they are not there still, there is this new sweet treats place that Barton has been raving about that I have been waiting to try until you got back.”  
　　  
　　“Really? Street performers and ice cream? That’s it?” Steve taunted.  
　　  
　　“What? I can’t get out and see the sights with my best guy every once in a while?” Bucky retaliated with a huge grin on his face, as the elevator reached the first floor.  
　　Steve hung back against the railing for a moment as his heart skipped a few beats. Did he just say “best guy”? Steve thought to himself. He eventually forced himself to get out of the elevator and follow Bucky or else he would get left behind, due to the extreme pace he had set for them. He almost looked like over excited puppy, the way his steps had an extra bounce to them as he walked though the Lobby and out the big glass doors of the Tower.  
　　  
　　They made their way down the busy New York streets for a mile until they came to the edge of the Park. “Barton said the shop was this way.” Bucky gestured after they had admired the scenery for a few moments. They turned up outside a quaint little brick building sandwiched between two sleek concrete and glass ones. The contrast gave a sort of old world uniqueness to the store that attracted a considerable amount of customers. Steve and Bucky had to plow their way into the foyer in order to see the menu. Bucky ordered a blueberry croissant, Steve got frosted lemon pound cake, and they shouldered their way out the door again.  
　　  
　　They meandered their way through the trees and found a bench near a fountain. They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes until the sounds of cheering and heavy bass club music drifted toward them.  
　　  
　　“That would be the street performers. Let’s go find them.” Bucky stood up and threw his pastry bag in the nearby trash can. Steve chuckled at his excitement and stood up to follow him. They only had to walk down the cobblestones for a few yards before the large audience that the performers had drawn stood right in front of them. Over everyone’s shoulders, they could see men doing back-flips or doing complicated dance moves with their bodies moving in sync with the music. Steve glanced over at Bucky and saw his friend swaying and tapping foot to the music. He had this look in his eyes that meant he was probably about to do something that he shouldn’t. Steve had seen that look too many times to be indifferent to it.  
　　  
　　Before he could actually saw anything about it, Bucky was pushing his way to the front of the crowd and standing in the middle of the circle of dancers. Everyone fell quiet and stopped to stare at him. The radio began to play a new song and all of a sudden Bucky was dancing too. Steve stood shocked that Bucky would put himself on show in front of so many strangers in the middle of New York’s Central Park, but his eyes did not deceive him.  
　　  
　　The crowd and even the other performers certainly found him entertaining though because they started clapping for him. The leader of the street performers seemed to take Bucky little exhibition as a challenge and once Bucky was done, he started another dance routine of his own. Bucky watched intently and answered with another one of his own. They went at it for a few minutes, with each time getting more and more elaborate. At some point, one of Bucky spins resulted in him knocking over a hot dog stand and bringing down the wrath of the Asian man that owned it and Bucky apologizing profusely. Steve shook his head in embarrassment and moved to collect his friend from the mess of ketchup and mustard when he noticed that the Stark cloaking tech that hid Bucky’s metal arm had malfunctioned and now everyone could see his prosthetic.  
　　  
　　“Hey! That’s Bucky Barnes! That’s the Winter Soldier!” someone in the crowd shouted. Steve panicked, grabbed Bucky’s hand and ran, all but dragging him out of Central Park and didn’t stop until they had reached an alleyway a few blocks down the road.  
　　  
　　“I hate it when they call me the Winter Soldier.” Bucky complained as he caught his breath.  
　　  
　　“What the hell, Buck?” Steve questioned. “What were you thinking? Showing off in front of all those people.”  
　　  
　　“Showing off? So you thought it was good?” Bucky smirked up at him.  
　　  
　　“James Buchanan Barnes, do not avoid my question.”  
　　  
　　“Well, I don’t know Steve. Maybe having a little fun! I am allowed to do that every once in a while!” Bucky responded defensively. There was an awkward pause before Steve heard a whispered “Sorry”.  
　　  
　　“It’s okay, Buck. I’m sorry too,” Steve sighed. “Let’s get back to the Tower”  
　　  
　　“Okay. But you thought it was good, right?” Bucky asked hopefully.  
　　  
　　Steve sighed again in defeat. “Yes. It was good. You have always been good at dancing.” Bucky smirked again in triumph. Of course, Steve would never make a great day like this awkward with all his thoughts on Bucky’s dancing, which would inevitably lead to professions of love. Who knew how that would go over. It could wait for another day. They had all the time in the world.


	4. Russian Cha-Cha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Natasha's routine inspired by this video:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om0HTBDgsCk

August, 2015

　　It was getting to the point where Steve could absolutely not control his thoughts anymore. Not that his thoughts were necessarily bad or inappropriate, but he was just getting tired of thinking of the most random stuff. Especially when it came to Bucky. Actually, he would be honest, only when it came to Bucky. And he would be the first to admit that it was getting pretty pathetic.  
　　  
　　Bucky would sit on the couch in the suite they shared and Steve could barely restrain himself from wrapping Bucky up in his arms and never letting him go. Bucky would be laughing at something Clint said and Steve would remember every single time that Bucky had laughed at a joke in the forties. Tony would stumble drunkenly out of the bar right into Bucky’s waiting arms on a Friday night and Steve would remember pretending to get drunk just so that Bucky would carry him home. Bucky would wink suggestively at Darcy just to see her freak out and immediately take to Twitter to report the news and Steve would hope against all hope that the wink would someday be directed at him. Bucky would wrap his arms around Natasha’s shoulders and whisper something in her ear and Steve would long for that renewed intimacy with his best friend.  
　　  
　　Come to think of it, maybe all these thoughts weren’t all that random. They were just the long overdue product of Steve falling even more helplessly in love with his best friend every day. And the worst thing had to be that Bucky would never find out because Steve would never have the courage to tell him to his face. They had both grown up in a time of hate and rejection and Steve could never be sure that Bucky hadn’t carried that with him to this day.  
　　  
　　All this and so much more were the cause of extreme stress in Steve’s life. One minute, he would be paranoid that someone would see through him and know how he felt, but the next minute all he wanted to do was drag Bucky to the rooftop and proclaim his love for all the world to hear. All the homophobic people in the world be damned.  
　　  
　　But there were other moments in his day when Steve would retreat into himself and not talk to anyone for hours. The pain he felt over his possibly unrequited love for Bucky would be too much for him to deal with around the others. Now was one of those times. Bucky sat on the over-sized sectional couch in the Avengers Tower common room with Natasha between his legs, her back to his chest. They were simply sitting there watching the TV and reading respectively but it still hurt to see. Steve knew that they had a history while they were both with the Red Room, but that knowledge didn’t make it any easier.  
　　  
　　He had to get out of there and find somewhere to think. “I’m gonna go take a walk outside.” He announced to everyone in the room while he went to get his jacket.  
　　  
　　“But its pouring cats and dogs out there, Cap!” Clint protested.  
　　  
　　“All the better for me to clear my head.” Steve muttered as he walked out the door.

* * *

  
　　The longer Steve walked in the pouring down rain, the worse he felt. He couldn’t seem to let go of all these emotions that ran through him. They weighed him down and just made him bitter.  
　　  
　　After a while he felt himself getting jealous of Natasha. He didn’t know for sure what was going on between but judging on their past track record, he could justifiably assume that it was something very intimate. Even how they acted around each other now lead him to that conclusion. He had known Bucky longer than she had and he didn’t even get to touch him very often. Not even a simple hug. He just couldn’t get his mind around it.  
　　  
　　He finally gave up on walking and turned to head back to the Tower. His clothes were soaked through and he really needed to let off some steam. He could probably just hit the gym for a few hours and head to bed without running into anybody.  
　　  
　　He headed up to his suite, changed into his work out clothes and threw his wet ones on the laundry basket for Jarvis to take care of. Then he headed down to the gym to see if he could destroy a few of Tony’s new hi-tech punching bags.  
　　  
　　But of course, who should he see standing in the middle of the gym with his strong hands placed on his sinful hips but Bucky himself. Steve paused and sighed and steeled himself to enter the room. He had his hand on the door nob when he heard music start to play from the far corner and Natasha walked into his field of vision. This could not get any worse, Steve thought to himself. But then they did the unthinkable and began dancing.  
　　  
　　All Steve could do was stand there with his hand still on the door nob and watch them as his brain tortured him again. It told him that this dance confirmed all his fears, as they moved in passionate synchronization. Their hands were all other each other. There was a familiarity there that was extremely painful for Steve to watch. He was relieved when there was a lull in the beat and let out all the air trapped in his lungs. But to his dismay, it started again, and this time even more passionate. The nights events were taking their toll on his sanity and Steve retreated back to his suite as quickly as possible as his chest tightened in longing.

* * *

  
　　If he had stayed just a minute longer, he would have seen Clint get up from his seat in the far corner of the room and jog into the center of the gym where Bucky and Natasha had just finished dancing. He would have also seen Natasha give him a loving smile and pulling him in for a passionate kiss.  
　　  
　　“Whoa, get a room you guys,” Bucky chuckled.  
　　  
　　“Oh, trust me. The room is coming later tonight,” Natasha answered as she winked at Clint and gave him one last peck on the lips.  
　　  
　　“Hey Jarvis, do you know if Steve has gotten back from his walk yet?” Bucky asked the AI as he picked up his water bottle.  
　　  
　　“Captain Rogers was present outside the gym door when Agent Romanov and yourself were performing your Cha-Cha. He looked very distressed and left in a hurry before you finished,” the British voice replied.  
　　  
　　Bucky choked on his last gulp of water and sat down heavily on the ground with his head in his hands.  
　　  
　　“Oh, no! What if he is mad at me? What if he thinks you and I are some sort of “thing” now? Ugghhh!” Bucky groaned.  
　　  
　　“Wait a minute, so you haven’t told him how you felt yet? I thought you said you were going to do that last month?” Clint lamented.  
　　  
　　“I was trying to find the right time.” Bucky’s shoulders sagged in defeat.  
　　  
　　“Well, there is no better time than the present,” Natasha said as she handed him a towel.  
　　  
　　“Thanks,” Bucky said as he accepted the towel. “But I can’t do it right now. I’ll have to wait til he calms down some,” Bucky reasoned.  
　　  
　　“Is that your rational brain talking right there, or is it your heart telling you to back out again so you don’t get hurt,” Clint said softly, but also forcefully. Damn Clint always knew how to say the right thing.  
　　  
　　“We’ll see. I just want to do it right, you know?”  
　　  
　　“Well, whatever suits yourself,” Natasha shrugged as she opened the gym door for Clint.  
　　  
　　“You need to try and tell him real soon though. I can always tell if a guy is falling too far into himself, and Steve is definitely doing that right now.” Clint advised as he walked out the door behind Natasha .  
　　  
　　“Isn’t that what I’ve been trying to do for the past three months!” Bucky shouted at them as the door closed. “Love is a lot harder than they tell you in the movies,” He whispered to the empty room after he heard the click of the door.


	5. The Red Ballet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's dance inspired by this video:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-tW0CkvdDI

September, 2015

　　“Come on, Sam! I know you can keep up!” Steve yelled to Sam as he turned around and ran backwards after he lapped him for the fifth time today.  
　　  
　　Sam changed course and sauntered over to a near by tree and threw himself down in the grass. “We haven’t done this in a few months,” Sam complained. “When you moved back to New York after Bucky found you, I lost my running partner.”  
　　  
　　“Well I wasn’t expecting you to completely give up on yourself when I left,” Steve chuckled as he sat down next to his friend.  
　　  
　　“I guess that’s what I get for putting all my unconditional trust in an American hero,” Sam winced as he picked his head up from where it was buried in the manicured grass of Central Park. They both laughed and settled into a comfortable silence.  
　　  
　　“Bucky seems to be adjusting well,” Sam prodded after awhile. Steve gave him a sideways glance. “But there is obviously something here that you are not telling me.”  
　　  
　　“Its almost like he is adjusting too well. He doesn’t seem to notice me as much anymore,” Steve sighed and his shoulders slumped as he leaned against the tree.  
　　  
　　Sam scoffed. “Well I can tell you right now that that is most definitively not true,” Sam retorted as Steve gave him a skeptical look. “I’ve only been here, what, two days and I’m pretty sure that I have a better read on him than you do. Now that is just sad.”  
　　  
　　“Well you do have a psychology degree.”  
　　  
　　“This doesn’t have anything to do with psychology, Steve. Its a matter of observation. I can’t believe you can’t see it. He looks at you like you hung the moon. He hangs on your every word.”  
　　  
　　“Really?” Steve questioned. “But that still doesn’t change the possibility that I could get rejected if I actually told him how I feel about him.”  
　　  
　　“Since when have you ever backed out of anything?” Sam asked.  
　　  
　　“But this is much more important than a simple job or a dare, Sam! This is the love of my life we are talking about here! It would ruin what we have now if I were to bring it up and he were to shoot me down,” Steve lamented.  
　　  
　　“You don’t know that. Just ask him about it,” Sam advised.  
　　  
　　Steve sat in silence for a minute. “I’ll find him when we get back to the Tower,” Steve decided. “What’s the worst that could happen?”　　

* * *

  
　　When they got back to Tower, Steve took a few minutes to shower and change before he got back into the elevator to go find Bucky. “Hey Jarvis? Where is Bucky right now?” Steve asked the AI as the elevator started moving.  
　　  
　　“Sergeant Barnes is in the gym, Captain Rogers,” was the reply.  
　　  
　　“Thanks Jarvis. Can you take me to him?” The elevator stopped on the right floor and Steve made his way down the hall to room that Bucky used all the time if he wanted to work out alone. But as soon as he got to the window looking in, he stopped. Bucky was sitting in the middle of the floor on his knees with his hands out in front of him and his head hanging between his slumped forward shoulders. He looked depressed and Steve concernedly moved to open the door but was stopped by the AI’s voice.  
　　  
　　“Sergeant Barnes has requested that he be left undisturbed until 10:00 hours,” the British accent informed him. Steve looked at his watch.  
　　  
　　“But that’s two hours from now. He looks like he needs someone with him right now,” Steve worried.  
　　  
　　“I highly doubt that, Captain Rogers,” Jarvis responded.  
　　  
　　Steve was about to protest and demand that Jarvis let him in when he heard faint music coming from the room. Steve turned and watched as Bucky started swaying his upper body to the music. He was dancing again.  
　　  
　　He pushed his hair out of his face and pushed himself up on one arm, only to fall down on his back a second later. Steve gasped and got hot under the collar of his shirt when Bucky sensually arched his back off the floor from this position. Over the months, Steve had accidentally watched Bucky dance many times. He had come to love the times that he caught his friend in this state of relaxation. But this time was very different. Bucky seemed to be pouring his soul into each small movement and Steve felt that he was violating his friends privacy by watching the display.  
　　  
　　But Steve stood rooted to the spot and couldn’t move even if he wanted to as Bucky made his first leap across the room. Steve had known that Natasha had a history with ballet dancing but what he was seeing now was new news to him. He wondered if they had both learned during their time with the Red Room.  
　　  
　　Bucky’s movements were so graceful and thought out but in between them all there were moments when it seemed he would break down and emotion would get the better of him. With each leap or twirl that Bucky would complete, Steve would grow more and more enthralled. The beauty and grace that was flowing out of his best friend was making Steve almost dizzy.  
　　  
　　At one point, Bucky dragged the fingers of his right hand across his metal shoulder and Steve’s heart broke for him. He couldn’t begin to imagine the mental pain that that thing caused him sometimes and Steve didn’t want to intrude on Bucky’s emotional display anymore, but he just couldn’t tear his eyes away. Bucky fell to the floor, either overcome by emotion or just in creativity, Steve didn’t know, but his heart hurt and his chest was tight and he felt more love for him than he ever had in his life. He felt he might burst with it.  
　　  
　　Bucky executed a few more turns and sank to his knees again. He stared at the ground for a good half a minute while Steve stared at him. He finally looked up and saw Steve watching him. He looked panicked for a second but then brightened up a little and gave Steve a small smile. Steve smiled back and Bucky got up from the ground and headed over to the locker room. Steve decided that now was probably not the time to talk feelings and turned and made his way back to the elevator. He had a feeling that they had all the time in the world.


	6. Slow Dance Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song referenced:  
> Only Forever-Bing Crosby  
> -number one on the Billboard charts in October, 1940

Early October, 2015

 

“I’m a genius!” Tony exclaimed as he arrogantly sauntered into the Avengers common area. This act was nothing new but it still called everyone's attention to him.

 

“What hair-brained scheme have you devised this time,” Bruce sighed from his place on the couch. “Matching t-shirts? Or maybe a carnival floor complete with clowns and animal balloons?”

 

“No, of course not,” Tony scoffed, looking at Bruce with mock offense. “A Halloween gala!”

 

“Um, why?” Bucky asked from where he was perched on the kitchen counter with Natasha.

 

 “Stark Industries hasn’t hosted a party in almost six months, which is absolutely and completely unacceptable. Plus, it will be great publicity for the company and for the Avengers, and we can even donate the proceeds to a charity of our choosing. Or even multiple charities if its really successful,” Tony answered excitedly. “Oh, and it was Pepper’s idea. If anyone was wondering. Well, not the Halloween part, that was all me. But she said it would be a good idea to host something soon, and I thought that since Halloween is at the end of this month...” Tony explained.

 

“If we are donating to charity, I’m all in,” Steve offered.

 

“Just please don’t tell me that we have to wear our costumes to this thing. If we do, I’m not going,” Clint cut in.

 

“What? No! Who do you take me for?” Tony questioned, receiving various glares from everyone in the room. “Okay, well fine, you all have a point. But just because I will be wearing the Iron Man suit that night, doesn’t mean that you all have to wear your uniforms. Although it would not be unwelcome!”

 

“Well, we are in,” Natasha spoke up for both her and Clint.

 

“I’m definitely down for it. Sounds fun,” Bucky agreed.

 

“Great! I’ll tell Pepper to set everything up. She owes me ten bucks,” Tony grinned as he skipped out of the room triumphantly.

 

“That man and his constant betting. What are we going to do about him,” Bruce sighed as he went back to his reading.

 

* * *

 

The date was set for five days before Halloween, and they had decided to donate to The Make A Wish foundation. The event was so well received, that even the Governor of New York was going to be there. Avengers Tower was extra busy that night in preparation as everyone scrambled to get ready.

 

Natasha had decided to use her long legs and her red hair to her advantage so her and Clint were going as Amy Pond and the Eleventh Doctor from Doctor Who. Bruce had decided to keep it low-key and was going as Albert Einstein. Tony was wearing his Iron Man Mach 2 armor, because he could never pass up an opportunity to wear it outside of a battle. Pepper was going as herself, on Tony’s request, and was going to wear the little blue number that Tony had “bought” for her birthday a few years ago. 

 

Steve had decided to go as Achilles, much to Bucky’s amusement. His exact words were, “ Stevie, you don’t have wear a costume to go as a Greek demigod. You already are one.” Of course, this comment had been made out of ear shot of the rest of the team, but that didn’t make Steve’s full-body blush and accelerated heart rate go away any sooner.

 

But Bucky was being stubborn as ever. No one could get him to tell who he was going as and all attempts to raid his closet in search of a costume proved futile. In answer, he would smirk and wink at whoever it was whose turn it was to nag him about it that day. Steve knew something was up, and if that look in his friend’s eye told him anything, it wasn’t going to end well.

 

“Bucky! Hurry up! They are all waiting for us!” Steve shouted to the bathroom door that Bucky had barricaded himself behind almost two hours ago.

 

“Just give me a second! I’m almost done,” Bucky shouted back.

 

Steve sighed and went to fix his armor in the mirror for the fifth time. Finally, he heard the bathroom door open behind him.

 

“Sorry, my hair wasn’t cooperating,” he heard Bucky say as he stepped out.

 

“I asked if I could... help...” Steve stammered as he turned around. His mouth went dry when he saw his friend. He stood proud in a light navy blue suit and matching vest. He wasn’t wearing a tie and the first few buttons of his white shirt were unbuttoned. To Steve, he looked like male perfection itself.

 

“You notice anything different, Stevie?” Bucky asked him after about a minute of shocked silence.

 

“You cut your hair,” Steve whispered and Bucky smiled at him. He put his hand forward to run his fingers through his friends hair, but pulled it back almost immediately. “Um, everyone is waiting for us in the car,” Steve said as he turned quickly and tried to pull his emotions together.

 

Everyone was already in the white limo and waiting for them when they got down to the garage and hopped into the nearest to seats.

 

“Wow,” Natasha gasped. “You definitely clean up better than I thought. And you cut your hair,” she gave Bucky a knowing look as she said the last part that Steve couldn’t decipher.

 

“And just who are you supposed to be exactly?” Clint asked with a confused look on his face. Of course Steve had forgotten to ask that when they were in their own apartment. Bucky smirked sinfully.

 

“I’m Christian Grey,” Bucky responded with a tone that meant you were already supposed to know who he was. He gave Steve a sideways look and brushed their hands together. Steve couldn’t tell if it was on purpose or not.

 

The place was already packed when they got there, and they were met with a round of applause as they all stepped out of the limo. Reporters were waiting to take their picture, but Steve could tell that the main attraction was Bucky. All the female journalists seemed to be drooling as he walked by and even the men couldn’t tear their eyes off of him. Steve couldn’t put it past them, since Bucky didn’t really get out of the Tower much, but it still made him feel jealous and overly protective.

 

They finally made their way inside and found there table. The live band had already started playing and Clint immediately took Natasha out to dance. Tony insisted that he couldn’t dance in the Iron Man suit so Bruce escorted Pepper to the dance floor. Tony got caught up in conversation with a few up and coming Businessmen from the Bronx, and that left Steve and Bucky alone at the table.

 

Bucky kept looking over at Steve anxiously every few minutes for the next hour. It was almost as if he had reverted back to how he was the thirties and he didn’t want to find a partner of his own until Steve had one. Steve started getting annoyed with him.

 

“Bucky, if you want to dance, go ahead. I can find a partner all by myself,” Steve suggested defensively. Bucky looked at him with a pained expression on his face and settled into his chair, staring at his feet. 

 

All of a sudden, he stood up and made his way over to the band. They were just finishing a song and Bucky went straight to the conductor and whispered something in his ear. Steve watching with curiosity as the conductor then turned to his instrumentalists and vocalist and asked them a few questions. There were head nods and smiles and a few of them even sent little smirks in Steve’s direction. Steve shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He wasn’t sure what his friend was up to but he had a feeling that it was going to be important. After a minute, Bucky started making his way back to Steve. Then the music started again. It began with light violin and Bucky came up to him and grabbed both his hands.

 

“Buck, no! What are you...” Steve protested as Bucky all but dragged him out to the dance floor. “You know I can’t dance.”

 

“Yes, you can. You just won’t,” Bucky corrected him. Steve heard the sweet warbling voice of Bing Crosby as Bucky began to lead him in a slow dance around the dance floor. 

 

 _Do I want to be with you_  
_As the years come and go?_  
_Only forever_  
_If you care to know_

_How long would it take me_  
_To be near if you beckoned?_  
_Off hand I would figure_  
_Less than a second_

_Do you think I'll remember_  
_How you looked when you smile?_  
_Only forever_  
_That's putting it mild_

 

“Do you remember when this song came out, Steve? I think we were walking down Main Street after we got ice cream and all the dames were humming it as they went about their days,” Bucky reminded him as they moved in sync with the music.

 

“But then we heard Joe carpenter singing it out in back of his dad’s shop and you just had go and say something about it,” Steve chuckled. Joe had chased Bucky almost all the way to Manhattan that day.

 

Bucky chuckled and spun Steve. “And yet here we are now. And I’m finally dancing with my best guy to the same song that I’ve wanted to dance to for seventy years now,” Bucky said nonchalantly. 

 

Steve’s heart stuck in his throat. He felt like he couldn’t breath. He chest ached with love and his eyes burned from unshed tears. He doesn’t know what he’s saying, Steve thought to himself. He can’t mean that.

 

“Stevie, you okay?” Bucky looked worried that Steve hadn’t said anything yet.

 

“I’m, uh, fine,” Steve coughed. “Excuse me,” he said as he got out of Bucky’s grip and hurried out of the room onto the balcony. He clung to the railing for dear life and tried to control his breathing. His heart was pounding in his chest and wasn’t letting up as Bucky came out onto the balcony behind him. 

 

“What did I do wrong, Stevie?” Bucky asked quietly.

 

“You can’t just say stuff like that, Buck. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” Steve answered harshly. Steve heard Bucky breath in sharply.

 

“You think I didn’t mean that?” Bucky questioned. God, he sounded so hurt. Steve turned around only to be greeted by Bucky’s blue eyes full of sadness and fear of rejection.

 

“Did you? Mean what you said back there?” Steve asked softly, almost scared of the answer he was going to get.

 

“Of course I meant it. I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

 

“But... what about Natasha?” Steve had to know.

 

“Nat? Seriously? You can’t see that her and Clint are obviously together and that I’m obviously head-over-heels for you? You can’t really be dense enough to not know that I’ve been in love with you since we were twelve.”

 

At that last comment, Steve’s resolve broke and he pulled Bucky to him and crushed their mouths together. That earned a moan from Bucky, who immediately kissed him back. They stayed like that for a few minutes. One of Steve’s hands buried in Bucky’s hair and the other arm around his lower back, while both of Bucky’s hands cupped either side of Steve’s face. They finally pulled apart panting and smiled at each other.

 

“Damn, Bucky. I love you so much it hurts,” Steve said as he caught his breath.

 

“We are the two stupidest men to walk the earth, you know that right?” Bucky laughed. “Seventy years and we couldn't just man up and tell each other how we felt. That’s pathetic really.”

 

Steve smiled as he pressed his lips to Bucky’s again. He wanted show Bucky how much he loved him, and now he had every single day for the rest of their lives. He had a feeling that he was right this time. They had all the time in the world.

 

 

Costume inspirations:

Clint and Natasha as Amy and the Doctor

Bruce as Albert Einstein

Tony and Pepper as themselves

Steve as Achilles

and last but certainly not least, Bucky as Christian Grey


End file.
